Mood:
irritatedTopic: Background // step-mom
Today has been a really bad start.. =0/ but ill get to that in a minute.. i have to finish updateing you on my last 15 years. well in my 6th grade year my dad was married to a women who worked for him until they were married. when i met her she always seemed nice and a sweet women but soon after the wedding she showed her real self. she became a bitch and almost insane. i might be exagerating a little but she scares the shit out of me sometimes. and not because she is big and scary but because i know i can do nothing to her because that will only screw my life up worse.. on top of her not so often 'episodes' she also has a daughter and son. Matt doesnt live with us but he comes and spends the night when he wants to have a party had drink. but he never cleans up after himself so me and my 2 siblings are always the ones to clean up. so in a way i suppose you could call me a Cinderella without the prince looking for me and without the beauty. but the newest problem in my life is that my father lost his job here and found another one that is in a town and hour and a half or so way. and because i love my school and all of my friends here i am living here with my step-mom and we have been getting along even worse then we have in the past. all because i tried to tell her and my dad how i felt about somethings, regretably it could have been handled better but what can i do now? Missie saw it as i was critizing her kids and poking at her parenting flaws. so she despises me and i have nothing to do because i cant move in with my dad anymore because school is starting and i had to make a promise to my band direstor that i would not leave the band because he needed me as a bass drum player. and if i leave that could screw things up for the band and he is so optimistic and excited about this upcoming year. so for now i am stuck, im not able to servive in my house here and unable to leave all at the same time.
well now that you have the basics i think i can fill you in on the events of today. well today i had an appointment at the police department to get my hardship, which in case some of you dont know is a drivers licence for a kid 14-15 years old who needs to drive places alone. so my older sister Ali, she cant drive either, comes in and wakes me up to take her to work at 7:30 in the morning. well after i get home i want to go back to sleep for an hour or two because i didnt get to sleep till 4 in the morning so ive only had about 3 hours of sleep. so i go wake nat up (the little brother) cause he is supposed to be awake at a certain time anyway. and i set an alarm and go to sleep well i wake up at 9 and lay in bed for a second trying to convince my self to get up and out of bed because my meeting is at 11. well i fall back asleep and i had another alarm go off at 10 but this one didnt wake me up. Nat comes in at 1 in the afternoon asking if i knew that it was late. i look at the clock and jump out of bed in a panic. i run upstairs and see if Missie had gone to the meeting and of course she hasnt. i run into my living room and begin crying. i call my dad and tell him i missed the appointment and he said that he knew and that missie had gotten up and ready and was waiting for me but i never came up and she didnt know where the papers were. well later i thought about this and relize she could have came and woken me up or atleast taken the time to look for the papers and see that they were clearly in plain sight on our coffee table and she could have gone up there without me. but i guess im not worth the effort to her. my dad told me she shouldnt have to come wake me up that im a big girl. but i think she should have taken the effort because i should take responsibity but this was important not only to me but to the family! ive been driving illegally for a while and im scared ill be pulled over or in a wreak and that'll be it. i cant drive till im 18 or 21. and Missie is sick and not able to get up every morning and she could use my help to drive nat around and myself this school year. but that apparently didnt cross her mind either. im thinking about refuseing to drive illegally anymore till i get my hardship, but that will mostlikely backfire into i cant go anywhere any more. leave me comments let me know what you think i should do? should i just calm down and keep doing what ive been doing make another appointment and risk being in major trouble? or should i refuse to drive? or maybe the one that ive laughed at many times, punch her in the face and leave the house for good?
-signed
Disturbed Cinderella
celebratory
i thought id start off by given you some general information. Lets see im 15 i live in a little town in Arkansas. im going to be a sophomore on August 21st. im a kid with lots of dreams and crazy goals that most people laugh at. but i think the main reason i look towards the future is because i feel i shouldnt live in the past and i dont think i have much of a present, i know that sounds weird but its the best way i think to describe what i feel. i have lived in 5 different states including California, Mississippi, Texas, Oregon and finally Arkansas. my family moved around so much because my dad always changed jobs, always upgrading getting higher and higher in his career. i lived here the longest and its been 5 years this past July 4th. But for the most part i had a great life. my mother and father NEVER fought atleast not where i saw anything. and i was not rich but more like upper middle-class if you will. everything was great till we moved here. from that move it has all been going down hill.. on my 5th grade year (the same year i moved here) my mother got sick and died of reasons im still not sure i understand but at the end of it she was in intensive care with a tube in her throat and not likeing it at all. she demanded it come out and her lungs calapsed. i was torn apart i loved my mother so much. we had done everything together, she was my girlscout leader, my #1 fan in karate and just always there for me. and i was always told i looked like her but i never saw it till i relized i couldnt look in the mirror without tearing up because i saw her. i eventually grew and matured but i dont think im as emotionally mature as i need to be.. but i am a straight 'A' student in the advanced classes and have never been in any real trouble, so i guess im not doing so bad..